Hai bloggie ku yang lapuk. Sudahlama tidak berkunjung dimari.
Sebelumnya mau bilang, Minal aidin wal faidzin semuanya!!! Walaupun telat dikit tapi gapapa kan ya!!!! (ngomong sendiri) (jawab sendiri)
In case ada yang penasaran, ya alhamdulillah kabar gue baik baik aja. Lagi sibuk jadi panitia sama ikut kursus slama libur. Anyway, gue diterima di peminatan K3 just like what i wished back in my freshman years. Alhamdulillah, Allah masih peduli sama gue hehehe doakan aku semoga lancar di departemen ini sampai skripsi dan lulus nanti. Aamiin.
Nah gue mau cerita. Ada satu sih yang ngeganjel sekarang ini. The higher power in my house (ye let's just call it as it is) often asks me about who i'm dating with. Why do i haven't got any boyfriend yet and so on. Terus bilang jangan keasyikan liatin musik sama nonton drama jadi keasyikan, lupa deh cari pacar. Wow wow what a way to enlighten my life vision. Lagian ada ada aja, ngapain cepet cepet punya "the one" you could call it mine diumur yang sekarang sih. Ya silakan kalo ada yang happy begitu, i'm happy for you, gak salah, tapi buat yang sendiri terus sedih galau keluarin quotes quotes bahwa single is the worst, i feel bad for you. I admit back in few months ago, i envied those who shared their happiness with their other half with such cute captions and heartwarming photos. However, something happened, and it completely changed my mind. I have another stuffs which must be taken care of from now on. Yall probably could see what's worrying me from my recent posts from 3 years ago until now. I really don't want to depend on anyone else. I want to be independent, i want to asure myself that imma have bright future years ahead with my own hardworks. Plus, i don't want to get myself caught in useless, tiring, and stupid situations which would affect my future.
Sure, i have the desire to meet the so called my other half. But i think, for now it's not that important. I'm not saying i would forbid myself from getting into a relationship. People come and go, hence, i can say that i'm quite used to the people who left after getting such a ti'is response from me (Ti' is alias bahasa belandanya dingin-you get me). I'm sorry you won't get any unyu unyu response from me, unless I'm sure you'll bring no harm (emangnya kuman) dan eventho, they left, gue juga yang yaudah????We weren't together by law so gue gabakal kehilangan apa-apa juga sih, ya sedih sedih dikit ajah tapi yaudah emang we werent meant together toh??? And sayings like "nikah aja sama orang kaya biar gak susah" "abis kuliah mau langsung nikah aja" would not work for me. Because, let's say that i got married with an anak pejabat business man once i graduated from uni. Ya syukur ketemunya yang baik. kalo misalnya in some ways, he cheated on me (naudzubillahminzalik) , be it i know or not, and worst, abused me, either verbally or physically, while i don't have any jobs and bener bener depend on my husband financially, gue bisa apa selain iya iya aja sih? Ya ok cerai, but while i don't have any back up plan for supporting me, what could i do after that? Nikah lagi? Anak-anak gue? No, i don't want my kid experince such a thing. Intinya, I don't want that kind of relationship. Ya emang kejauhan mikirnya, tapi apapun bisa terjadi yakan. And nope kid, i'm not making stories, i have seen shhoo many kind of relationships like this in my entire life. And i don't want "that" happened with me. Lagian, Takdir Allah siapa yang tau. What i'm doing right now, is my way to prevent if those unpleasant things happened in the future.
I don't really mind if anyone ever called me with jones orsomething like that (the jokes is getting old tho, i suggest you to find the new ones). Those galau galau account be it on twitter or those that your friends shared on Line irk me in so many levels. Cewe harus jual mahal lah, cowo harus inilah, wey lu gila ya. These kind of sayings will affect younger generations in negative ways, rather than love theirselves for what they have achieved. ya emang gak semua, cuma akun-akun menye kaya gitu pasti mempengaruhi orang banyak. Gue, dulu, salah satunya. Sedih juga kalo dipikir-pikir.
I have soooo much things i want to aim other than this one. Get accepted in graduated school, travels around the world, punya rumah sendiri, atas nama gue, and so on. And so do YOU! You can find happiness everywhere and anywhere kok, gak harus nunggu dikasih sama orang lain. Make yourself happy, and proud, and live your life to the fullest.
Tl;dr, to the higher power that makes me writing this long, probably full of bs post, please don't worry about me or what happened with my love life. I'm happy, safe and sound for who i am, by myself. My future plan is on me, so the right thing you could do are supporting my decision and wishing my plan would work on me, smoothly, hence, everything will be just fine.
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