Akhir-akhir ini gue baru menyadari.
Gue, kalo udah berhubungan sama orang, yang sukanya tuh yakin gue suka, no matter if he's the right person in the right time or the otherwise, gue akan sangat needy.
Parah.
*but still trying to maintain my coolness at its best dengan tidak ngomong ke orangnya*
Yaiyalah, ntar orangnya freaked out. WKWKWK makan tuh gengsi.
I tend to analyze even the smallest thing, smallest move, or irrelevant thing, which could ruin my mood the whole day. And i don't feel proud of myself about that. The smallest thing can make me go 'ok that's it that's the sign, he doesn't love you anymore, you fool, gotta move on asap' tapi abis itu dia baik lagi kayak the one that i knew and then i was like 'ah i misunderstand myself again', aaaand all hell break loose once again.
I feel bad to myself that i need such a ~constant reassurance~ for myself to know that i was loved. I also feel bad for my future s.o for them having the task to tell me that they are fine and okay with me arround them (if that's really going to happen)
Tapi tenang, gue needy kayak gini gada yang tau kok kecuali kamu yang baca blog ini mungkin. Even si s.o nya aja taunya gue selow abis bois so all is good (kecuali yang nulis). Capek juga sih sesering itu i over analyze the smallest thing. And i also think that was the reason my past s.o left me. Because i was being too needy for them, too clingy. Kalo kata orang mah, gak ada tantangannya.
I also know mereka punya kesibukkan. But this needy-ass of mine can't stop thinking all the negativities, yang dimana harusnya gue bisa berpikir lebih jernih dari sekarang. But i just can't :-(
Oh, gue juga gak bisa act like i don't care or take revenge. Kayak nih si s.o bales message like 2-3 hours tapi dalam selang waktu tersebut bisa liat-liat instagram. Then, i'll automatically thought that he purposely ignored my messages bc he's bored with me, tired of me, etc. Akut gak?
Di logika gue yang gamasuk tuh yang kayak gitu aja sih. Why? In my case, no matter how busy i am, i'll always try ngasih kabar. Gak sih bukan constant harus bales sebenernya, tapi kasih tau aja, kayak talk to you later because i was doing this and that, sebenernya gak susah kan? At least kalo buat gue. Cuma gatau emang gue lagi needy-needy nya aja kali ya jadi kayak gini. Atau sebenernya gue emang gini dari dulu? capek gak sih deket sama orang kayak gue? huhuhu
Gue, kalo udah berhubungan sama orang, yang sukanya tuh yakin gue suka, no matter if he's the right person in the right time or the otherwise, gue akan sangat needy.
Parah.
*but still trying to maintain my coolness at its best dengan tidak ngomong ke orangnya*
Yaiyalah, ntar orangnya freaked out. WKWKWK makan tuh gengsi.
I tend to analyze even the smallest thing, smallest move, or irrelevant thing, which could ruin my mood the whole day. And i don't feel proud of myself about that. The smallest thing can make me go 'ok that's it that's the sign, he doesn't love you anymore, you fool, gotta move on asap' tapi abis itu dia baik lagi kayak the one that i knew and then i was like 'ah i misunderstand myself again', aaaand all hell break loose once again.
I feel bad to myself that i need such a ~constant reassurance~ for myself to know that i was loved. I also feel bad for my future s.o for them having the task to tell me that they are fine and okay with me arround them (if that's really going to happen)
Tapi tenang, gue needy kayak gini gada yang tau kok kecuali kamu yang baca blog ini mungkin. Even si s.o nya aja taunya gue selow abis bois so all is good (kecuali yang nulis). Capek juga sih sesering itu i over analyze the smallest thing. And i also think that was the reason my past s.o left me. Because i was being too needy for them, too clingy. Kalo kata orang mah, gak ada tantangannya.
I also know mereka punya kesibukkan. But this needy-ass of mine can't stop thinking all the negativities, yang dimana harusnya gue bisa berpikir lebih jernih dari sekarang. But i just can't :-(
Oh, gue juga gak bisa act like i don't care or take revenge. Kayak nih si s.o bales message like 2-3 hours tapi dalam selang waktu tersebut bisa liat-liat instagram. Then, i'll automatically thought that he purposely ignored my messages bc he's bored with me, tired of me, etc. Akut gak?
Di logika gue yang gamasuk tuh yang kayak gitu aja sih. Why? In my case, no matter how busy i am, i'll always try ngasih kabar. Gak sih bukan constant harus bales sebenernya, tapi kasih tau aja, kayak talk to you later because i was doing this and that, sebenernya gak susah kan? At least kalo buat gue. Cuma gatau emang gue lagi needy-needy nya aja kali ya jadi kayak gini. Atau sebenernya gue emang gini dari dulu? capek gak sih deket sama orang kayak gue? huhuhu
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